A question I've been receiving all too often lately is something along the lines of: "So... what do you want to do with your life?" Or the classic: "What are your plans for University?" These are usually followed by a blank stare on my behalf, because really, I have no idea what the answers are. I've just graduated from a pre-uni cegep program this past December, and I'm currently taking (at least) one semester off to (hopefully) figure things out.
In 2014, I began studying Creative Arts in the Media Arts profile at John Abbott College, which isn't like traditional college outside of Quebec. Cegep is like an intermediate step, usually lasting two years, in between High School and University. It's essentially an opportunity to test the waters and dabble into different interests without forking over thousands of dollars in tuition just yet. My program was interesting, as I got to experience and try my hand at many different forms of art, such as creative writing, photography, writing for news, and digital media. I definitely grew as an artist over the course of these past two and a half years. However, I still haven't quite found my calling. Hence, why I haven't committed myself to University just yet - and truthfully, why I'm shying away from the idea altogether. For the past few years of my academic life, school has been very challenging for me. Not so much in the sense that I wasn't getting good grades, but more mentally and emotionally. My heart just wasn't in it like it used to be when I was young. It didn't feel like what I truly wanted to be doing with my time and energy, but I pushed those feelings away since school is the only thing I've ever known, and no one else seemed to be having these thoughts. Almost everyone else seemed to be figuring out which programs, schools, and careers interested them, while I felt like I was a million steps behind because I didn't even have a single direction to turn. At first, I looked forward to this time off to recuperate, and hopefully get back into the swing of school as soon as possible. However, now that it's finally come, it feels like such a liberation I can't even describe. Like weights off my shoulders, and like I finally have time to create the life I've always wanted to create. Yet, there's a looming shadow of doubt in the very corner of my mind, never letting me forget how unconventional the path I've taken is. But I must keep reminding myself that I am my own person, and what works for most may not work for me. And I must keep reminding myself that I'm only 19, on the edge of 20, and I don't really need to be sure of anything just yet. Recently, I've fostered a deep appreciation and love for word art, such as typography and calligraphy. It's always been something I've admired, but now it's a hobby that I'd love to incorporate more into my life somehow. I've bought myself a drawing tablet to create my own art that I plan on selling to whoever likes it, and I want to put even more effort into this blog. I enjoy having an online presence, and raising my voice about things that I'm passionate about is very important to me. I'm hoping that eventually, this blog can expand into something bigger. I don't know what, exactly, but I'm excited nonetheless. C
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Authoradmirer of beautiful things, amateur artist, perpetually confused. Archives
June 2017
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