* Disclaimer: I want to recognise what a sensitive topic this is to many people. I can only speak on my own behalf, from my own experience and perspective, and I am fully open and eager to hear others' opinions, thoughts, and views. The comment section is open for healthy discussion. Growing up as a small girl, I've heard my fair share of comments such as: "Why are you so skinny?" or: "Eat a burger!" These comments have always made me feel uncomfortable, as any sort of attention drawn to my body is enough to make me want to disappear from the room.
Since the age of 12, I've struggled with body confidence. As a short, lanky little girl, I felt inferior to other girls my age as they started going through puberty and began sprouting into young women, while I stayed flat, thin, and boy-ish. This continued for most of my teenage life, until I accepted my fate as a small-chested girl. I found peace in that. However, the comparisons between me and everyone else never ceased inside my head, and I still longed for their curves and femininity. I felt guilty. If I ever complained about my body as a 15 year old, friends and peers would tell me, "I wish I was skinny like you." "You think you have a bad body? What does that make mine?" And over time, I started scolding my own thoughts. Heavier girls are at such a bigger disadvantage in our society, who am I to complain about being too small? I tried suppressing it. It was incredibly unhealthy. No one should ever invalidate their own feelings. But that's exactly what I did, letting the guilt build up over the years. When weight struggles and body issues became a more widely discussed topic, I discovered that so many other smaller girls had experienced the same feelings as me, and that I wasn't alone. It was so, so comforting. I no longer felt bad for the way I felt - it wasn't my fault. I feel the things I feel, and that's okay. Seeing so many other girls being ridiculed for their lack of curves or "female assets" saddened me. It angered me when people would claim that fat shaming was a bigger issue, because it felt like once again, my feelings were being invalidated. We all have insecurities, and making someone feel bad about their body, no matter what size, is horrible. I thought, this is just as bad as shaming someone for being overweight. Do I still think this way? It's complicated, but not quite. Here's why. The main difference between skinny girls and big girls is representation in the media. Seeing plus sized models is only becoming a more regular thing as of late, and even still, we have a long way to go. For example, consider the fact that we even need to refer to these women as "plus sized models" in the first place, as opposed to just... regular sized models? Pretty messed up. See, we all know that almost none of us look like a Kardashian or Hadid, whether we're skinny or not. Being small does not equate to having a supermodel body. But from a young age, we're bombarded with images of girls with flat stomachs and thigh gaps, and even though I don't look like a Victoria's Secret model, I can relate more to that body standard than I imagine a girl with thick thighs and a round tummy can. The very word "fat" has become an insult, whereas skinny can even be used a compliment by some. Calling someone fat has completely different implications than calling someone skinny. Small girls are praised for their bodies; envied, sought after. While comments on their weight are not always taken as compliments - I can attest to that - all feelings aside, it must be looked at from a non-biased, objective perspective, and my view on it is that skinny girls still have it easier. Does that invalidate our feelings? No. Does that mean it's okay to insult someone for being skinny? Hell no. It still hurts. I still believe that judging someone based on their body type, small or big, is wrong. But we don't live in a society that constantly shames and isolates skinny people. In the end, we're all just people, and we shouldn't be tearing each other down. Shift the focus. Resist the shallow beauty standards we've been taught, and let's reclaim the word "fat". C
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Authoradmirer of beautiful things, amateur artist, perpetually confused. Archives
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